You shouldn’t have to do anything to meet someone else’s low expectations. You just haven’t met the right people yet, so keep looking
Illustration/Uday Mohite
Would someone ask someone out if they weren’t really interested? I met a guy at a party a few weeks ago, and he reached out a few days later because we exchanged numbers. He wants to meet me for dinner, and I accepted, but he hasn’t been chatting with me much since then. He doesn’t always respond to my messages and is not flirting or saying anything substantial. I don’t know if he has asked me out just because he wants someone to go out with, or if he is evaluating me before he says anything specific, but his behaviour is confusing me. My friends think I should not meet him if he doesn’t take the trouble of chatting before our date, but maybe he’s just someone who doesn’t communicate well online and prefers conversations in real life. Should I still agree to meet him?
How you feel about him should help you figure out whether you want to meet with him. Do you want to get to know him better? His behaviour is not exactly stellar, but you’re right about some people struggling to communicate using devices. Either way, it is only by meeting him that you can get some clarity about what his intentions are. If you feel as if he isn’t giving you much attention and is the same in real life as he is online, you won’t have to waste time on a second date. If he is outright disrespectful before that dinner, you shouldn’t waste time on a first date either.
I sometimes feel as if guys won’t want to talk to me unless I appear to be less intelligent than I am. I have to dumb myself down and only then do they take the trouble of speaking to me at length. The minute I appear to be more outspoken, they lose interest. What should I do about this?
You shouldn’t have to do anything to meet someone else’s low expectations. You just haven’t met the right people yet, so keep looking.
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