I suggest you take this one step at a time, starting with a frank talk. Reach out to the person you are in love with and see what he has to say
Illustration/Uday Mohite
My boyfriend always ends up hurting me during sex, even though it is always unintentional. It makes me afraid of getting physical with him, and neither of us knows what to do. I don’t want this barrier between us, but we can’t find a way of resolving anything. It is now so bad that I almost recoil in fear when we start to get intimate. I know it shouldn’t be so difficult, but I can’t have a chat about this with any of my friends because my boyfriend doesn’t want them to know anything about our personal lives. How do I resolve this before it leads to serious issues in our relationship?
A fear of physical intimacy indicates that there are already serious issues in your relationship that haven’t been addressed yet. You don’t need to speak with your friends if this violates your partner’s privacy, but speaking to a medical professional is imperative so you can both arrive at the cause of this pain. It may also be a sign of something more serious.
I love a guy, but my parents don’t know about this. I know he loves me a lot, too, but he lives in another city. What should I do? — Ravi P
The first thing to do is have a conversation with him to understand what this mutual affection means. Do you want to be together? What are your individual expectations from this? Do you want to consider a relationship? It is only after you have this conversation that you can think about what you want to do next. As for your parents, you are an adult and are allowed to make personal decisions about your life. Choosing to speak to them about anything is your prerogative, but the boundaries you choose to draw and stick by are also yours to make. I suggest you take this one step at a time, starting with a frank talk. Reach out to the person you are in love with and see what he has to say.
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