It definitely is a sign of immaturity, but the question of whether he is being a good partner should be weighed against other things he does too. If he is never supportive, reconsider your relationship
Illustration/Uday Mohite
My boyfriend found out that I drank a lot of alcohol at a party recently and now says he doesn’t trust me. I admitted that I lied and said that I was sober only because I wanted to avoid any issues, but he says I should have been honest with him. I don’t know what to do or say to convince him because it was just a white lie. He doesn’t like it if I drink, but I don’t want to give it up just because he has a problem with it. If we are so incompatible when it comes to my life choices, is this a relationship worth investing time or energy in? I want to be with someone who doesn’t judge me, but he wants someone to be honest with him even when it creates unnecessary problems. Is there a solution?
The solution lies in how badly the two of you want to make this work, depending on what you are each willing to overlook. You are both right about what you want, because honesty is critical, as is being with someone who isn’t judgemental. This doesn’t have to be a serious problem if you can talk about why he doesn’t have a right to decide what your choices are, and if you can explain why you feel compelled to withhold information. Having said that, if you feel this incompatibility is preventing you from being who you are, it may be a good idea to consider what you want from this relationship before deciding what you should do next.
I had a bad day at work a week ago and, instead of being supportive and making me feel better, my boyfriend made a lot of jokes and was quite inconsiderate. Is this a sign that he is not a good partner?
It definitely is a sign of immaturity, but the question of whether he is being a good partner should be weighed against other things he does too. If he is never supportive, reconsider your relationship.
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