Differences in personality are sometimes unavoidable in any relationship, but they can be handled with tact and acceptance
Illustration/Uday Mohite
My wife always forces me to tag along with her whenever she goes to meet her family or friends, even though she knows this is difficult for an introvert like me. I can meet her family sometimes because I know it is important for our relationship, but regular outings with her friends always cause me a lot of anxiety. I have often told her to go by herself because it is too painful for me, but she uses the excuse of her friends and their husbands who come along without complaint. I can’t pretend to have a good time just because other husbands like being there, and she just doesn’t grasp that concept. This exhausts me physically and mentally and is taking a huge toll on our marriage, but she doesn’t even see it. How can I change this situation?
You should point out that ignoring how you feel is a sign of disrespect and inequality because you wouldn’t compel her to do something she wasn’t comfortable with. Tell her what your expectations from this marriage are and ask her to consider a compromise where you both have a fixed number of events you can choose to attend. If this is affecting your mental health and your future together, she should take it seriously, and you should be clearer about her need to do so. Differences in personality are sometimes unavoidable in any relationship, but they can be handled with tact and acceptance.
Is it petty for my girlfriend to stop me from getting a dog just because she can’t stand animals? She knows how badly I have wanted one but says she won’t be able to visit me if there is a dog in the house. It feels as if she doesn’t care about my feelings. Am I wrong for wanting a pet?
Neither of you are wrong, but you are also being clear about what your wants are. The only way forward is a compromise that allows you both to not let this derail your relationship.
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