Either way, the more honest you are about the nature of your feelings, the easier it will be to manage this
Illustration/Uday Mohite
A few days ago, a guy I have been dating sent me a message about how serious he is about me and asked me to consider a relationship with him. I know he likes me, but I was taken aback by the message because it sounded as if he is deeply in love with me, and I have only felt an attraction for him. I like him, but I don’t know him well enough to consider a serious relationship, which is why I was meeting him to get to know him better. I want to ask for time, but the tone of his message has put me off because it feels as if we are in completely different places. Should I ask him to not assume this will turn into anything, and just meet me until I feel more comfortable? It’s awkward because I now know how strongly he feels about me, and the casual nature of those dates seems unlikely. What should I do?
You should be direct about where things stand and why you need more time. You aren’t obligated to get into a relationship just because he has expectations or because you have both been out a few times. If he genuinely wants you in his life, he shouldn’t have a problem with respecting your request. If the dates seem heavier and less casual, that should make your eventual decision a lot easier. Either way, the more honest you are about the nature of your feelings, the easier it will be to manage this.
How do I tell if my girlfriend feels strongly about me? She loves me but I want to know how she looks at our relationship and whether she feels there is a future for us together. I have asked her this a few times, but she never gives me a clear response. She always says we should take things as they come. I don’t know what that means.
It means exactly what she says it means: give this relationship some time.
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