Consider going by his actions. If he shows you that he loves you, words may not matter as much
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I have been having an affair with a guy who is married but wants to get a divorce. He and his wife separated a while ago, and we have been together for almost a year. This relationship has started to change over the past few weeks, because he appears to be more distant. He doesn’t respond to messages instantly the way he once used to and doesn’t even spend as much time with me as before. I get the feeling he is slowly moving away and don’t know if this is because he doesn’t want me anymore or if he wants to get back with his wife. When I ask him about it, he always says he is working towards a divorce but all I have is his word, and no proof that this is happening because I am not privy to conversations he has with his estranged wife. How do I resolve this situation? Do I assume this relationship is almost over?
You can’t expect this relationship to function with any degree of normality if he isn’t single, and he isn’t. Until he gets a divorce, you will always be the other person in what is still legally a marriage. Legal implications aside, the only thing you can hope for is clarity, which isn’t going to come until he has figured out what he wants for himself, be it his relationship with his wife, or what his feelings are for you. I suggest you take time off from this and ask him to do so as well, because neither of you appears to have an understanding of what you want from this relationship. This can only happen when you are both single and in a position to see things a little more clearly.
Is it normal if my boyfriend never tells me that he loves me until I ask him to say it?
Consider going by his actions. If he shows you that he loves you, words may not matter as much.
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