Yes, it is because it is a form of gaslighting. You are entitled to feeling the way you do, and it is up to him to acknowledge how you feel and address it because it is an issue
Illustration/Uday Mohite
My boyfriend and I have been together for six months now, and he is always pushing me in some way which causes some tension between us. I don’t mean to say he’s pushy, but he is more committed to moving this relationship forward than I am. We work at different levels when it comes to people, and I like to take my time to understand a person. He is of the belief that if something feels right, he should try and build stronger bonds as quickly as possible. There is undeniable chemistry between us, and I know we love each other, but I want him to slow things down and just give ourselves time with this relationship. I don’t know if it’s because he’s 31 and feels as if time is moving too quickly, but I am not comfortable with just becoming too serious too quickly. What should I do?
You have every right to take as much time as you need, and your boyfriend needs to understand that pushing you to commit to something quickly is counterproductive. It’s possible that he may not understand what you’re saying if you verbalize this, but your actions can make a difference. Insist on drawing boundaries, limit the dates you plan with him, and allow him time to get the message through how you behave rather than what you say. When he is ready for that conversation, tell him why you are at different places in this relationship, and why it’s okay. If he genuinely wants this to work, he will give you some breathing space.
I recently accused my partner of being too flirtatious and he lost his temper and said I was too possessive. I don’t think I was being unreasonable. Is this a red flag I should be wary of?
Yes, it is because it is a form of gaslighting. You are entitled to feeling the way you do, and it is up to him to acknowledge how you feel and address it because it is an issue.
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