All you have to do is recognise that, as an outsider, you can only go so far when it comes to offering comments or pointing out her perceived shortcomings
Illustration/Uday Mohite
A close friend behaves very badly with her husband and it makes me feel as if I should intervene. I know it’s none of my business but it’s clearly an abusive relationship and my friend is in the wrong. I want to get her to change her ways, but whenever I bring it up, she laughs it off. We have a close friendship, so I know she won’t be angry with me, but I also know she won’t accept that she is doing anything wrong. It’s just her nature. Should I just mind my own business and let them sort this out by themselves? I feel as if her husband won’t be able to take it anymore and will end this marriage. What do I do?
You can speak to your friend but, as you pointed out, this is between them alone. If her husband chooses to stand up for himself and end this, it is a life lesson you can’t be part of. Relationships are complicated, and no one on the outside can fully understand the dynamics of one from the perspective of people in them. If your friend values your advice, she can choose to act upon it. If she doesn’t, your conscience is clear. All you have to do is recognise that, as an outsider, you can only go so far when it comes to offering comments or pointing out her perceived shortcomings.
My boyfriend and I struggle to communicate and I don’t know how to change that. We have tried everything but it’s like we are on two different planets because we can’t chat for more than an hour or so. Is this a sign that things won’t work out between us?
Communication takes time because it’s part of understanding another human being. The important thing to focus on is the relationship, and whether you want to be together. Everything else will fall into place when you spend time together.
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