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Why is she so touchy-feely?

Updated on: 05 March,2024 06:50 AM IST  |  Mumbai
Dr Love |

This doesn’t have to be an issue, but it requires a certain amount of tact, and your boyfriend needs to do more to prevent it from escalating

Why is she so touchy-feely?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My boyfriend has a weird friend who is always physical with him. She touches him a lot and often strokes his face, and he allows this because he says that’s how she is. It annoys me because she takes liberties with him, and he doesn’t seem to mind. I know he’s not cheating on me and that it’s his body, but I feel as if she should know what her boundaries are. If I confront her, she will simply say that I have no business commenting on how she interacts with him. When I tell him this makes me uncomfortable, he asks me not to be so prudish. Am I blowing this whole thing out of proportion?  What do I do?
If something upsets you, your boyfriend should be more mindful of it and take steps to make things easier for you. Yes, those are his boundaries, and you don’t own his body, but the idea of someone touching him upsets you and you are entitled to feel that way. Try and explain why this bothers you and tell him that dismissing your concerns as prudishness comes across as gaslighting without addressing your feelings. If he takes this seriously, he should do something about it. And if this friend crosses a line that you deem is unacceptable, you should speak out. This doesn’t have to be an issue, but it requires a certain amount of tact, and your boyfriend needs to do more to prevent it from escalating.

I love my long-term partner but sometimes feel as if a colleague of mine is someone I would like to get to know better. Does this mean I am considering cheating on my partner?
Long-term relationships are hard, but getting to know someone better as a friend is not an act of cheating. What matters is how transparent you are with your partner, and understanding why you feel the need for friendship with someone physically present in your life.

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