Deep-dive into the lives and works of Michelle Yeoh and Brendan Fraser, winners at the 2023 Oscars for all the lessons you need to redefine success, resilience and self-kindness
Michelle Yeoh and Brendan Fraser at the Vanity Fair Oscar party. Pic courtesy/Getty Images
Apart from the annual YouTubing of the opening monologue at the Oscars and scrolling through red carpet fashion, this year, we found ourselves watching not only the acceptance speech of two incredible wins but also their backstage press room interviews. On this feat alone, Michelle Yeoh and Brendan Fraser stole hearts with their conviction towards their work for the second time; the first time was through their stellar performances in Everything Everywhere All at Once and The Whale, respectively. Picking defining moments from their life and career, we invited experts to wrap their experiences up as lessons to walk away with.
No role too small
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Jaimini Pathak. Pic Courtesy/Umesh Suryawanshi
Speaking about how Yeoh began her acting career after being spotted by a start-up production company in a commercial opposite Jackie Chan, actor and theatre person Jaimini Pathak redefines our thought about no role being too small. “There are small and big roles but everyone has to start somewhere. It’s after you get noticed that you start to choose your roles wisely.” We shared an instance with Pathak when a now-thespian classmate illustrated how at a collegian theatre festival — a tree character without lines — stood still for the entirety of the play without so much as batting an eyelid, as the legend goes, and won the praise of the audience and judges. Replying to this anecdote, Pathak says, “It goes without saying that whatever you do, do it well. It’s this work ethic that separates brilliant actors from the ones moving from one job to the next. The audience will be glued to watching their singular presence, even without lines, because they’ve brought it together [in their performance]. Once you choose a role and say yes, it should be an unconditional yes.”
Making the most of it
A spinal injury shelved Malaysian Yeoh’s dreams of dancing ballet, but the training undergone for the art form proved beneficial when she took up her own stunt work in action films. In an interview, she mentioned this as being a shift in energy remarking how similar the choreography and rhythm between the two were. We’re looking at this less in a ‘one door closes, another opens’ sort of way and more as Yeoh carving her own path. Lizanne Dsouza, recruitment expert and podcast host agrees, “It’s essential to recognise that skills and experiences garnered from past endeavours can be transferable to new and diverse fields. Stagnancy in one position can hinder growth and the realisation of potential in this ever-evolving world.” Dsouza notes that identifying such skills and determining the industries where they can be utilised is the first step towards achieving a successful transition.
Arouba Kabir and Lizanne Dsouza
This lesson from Yeoh’s life is further reiterated when despite being pushed to the fringe roles and facing ageism and racism, Yeoh rose as a goddess of action films, almost always performing her own stunts. Dsouza reflects on how perseverance can propel aspirations towards achievement. Dare to dream big is what this expert suggests, adding, “Acknowledging that previous generations encountered various impediments that are not relevant [to its former extent] in today’s society, provides hope for the unlimited possibilities of tomorrow.” Her tips to build such a mindset include a reading of Atomic Habits by James Clear, and establishing achievable goals, bearing in mind that as humans, limitations do exist.
Self-worth matters
A survivor of sexual harassment, facing a divorce as well as objectification and fat-shaming at different points in his career, it is said that Fraser’s movie choices and stepping away from the public eye, seemed to have been a reflection of his self-worth. Arouba Kabir, a mental health professional and founder of Enso Wellness, reflects on the importance of self-perception and internal dialogue in building our self-image, advising us to pay attention to the little voice in our head. “When you make a mistake, are you ridiculing or being kind to yourself? Learning can come from the latter. This voice develops from our surroundings, we model what we hear from parents, teachers and others when we are younger. But as an adult, you have the power to change this.” Her tips on building a clear self-image include:
>> Maintain a journal to monitor how you talk to yourself when stressed or when facing yourself in the mirror.
>> Scrap perfection. What might be perfect for you might not be perfect for another, and vice versa. Giving your best is enough.
>> Take care of your health — physical, mental, sexual, financial and social. Working on yourself gently will help you connect better with others. Whereas not taking care of ourselves in these areas, may lead to a search for validation from outside.
Set boundaries
In a 2018 interview, Fraser said he felt like George Orwell’s Animal Farm character, Boxer, a horse who “worked for the good of the whole, he didn’t ask questions, he didn’t make trouble until it killed him...”. The talk about the dangers of an overly positive (toxic positivity) approach in overlooking the need for change and re-routing has been gaining momentum in the last few years along with the topic of setting boundaries. Kabir states that such a mindset disregards righting the wrong and the process of healing. As much as we want to be realistic in life by being positive, denial of issues and slapping on a smile aren’t realistic. She adds that many things can be important to us, but learn methods to prioritise and handle conflicts instead of pleasing all.
Age no bar
Carolyn Pereira
Yeoh and Fraser, by winning an Oscar at 60 and 54, respectively, are not the first to prove that the yardstick of success we hold on to at the start of our careers is baseless and inaccurate. And Yeoh did not fail to include this in her acceptance speech, proclaiming, “Ladies, don’t let anybody tell you [that] you are ever past your prime.” Breaking the concept of hitting all milestones in your 20s, Mumbai-based Carolyn Pereira founded her food venture Treatfully Yours at 38. She shares, “Things align when the time is right. In my 20s, I was busy being a mum. I had a fire within me, and I dedicated it to my kids. Then I couldn’t ignore it any longer and given the dream I had (The concept of Treatfully Yours came to her in a dream) I knew that I had to make it come true. Success doesn’t have a defined age. It can come at 20, 30, 40 or 60. You can’t put a timeline on when you encounter success or appreciation.”
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