Don’t know where I stand with him!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My partner is not being clear about what he wants from this relationship, and it feels as if he's just doing things to make me unsure about where we stand. We have been together for a year, and I know he loves me, but I also sense that he doesn't see a future with me. We have our share of disagreements, but it's as if he doesn't feel motivated enough to try and fix our issues. I don't feel like trying because it sometimes feels as if I'm forcing him to be with me, which isn't a nice feeling. Should I just call this off, or ask him to try and be more clear about what he wants? I am conflicted because I know I would try harder if I felt as if there was some hope for us. What should I do?
If you don't feel any sense of stability in this relationship, and your partner isn't addressing this, the sooner you both acknowledge that this isn't working, the better. It's okay to have disagreements, and it's also okay to be unsure about the future, but it's not okay to make a partner feel as if they're drifting without a clue. If you get the sense that he isn't particularly interested in fixing things, it's because he probably isn't. Ask him if he wants this to work and if he doesn't have a clear response, I suggest you assume that it's not going to happen.

I'd like to ask someone out, but don't want to come across as too pushy because she turned me down once before. Should I text her again or just wait until she messages?
There's no harm in texting again but if she has turned you down before, why assume she will change her mind a second time around? She has expressed her lack of interest, so anything you do will make you come across as pushy. Ask her to get in touch if she changes her mind and leave it at that.

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